Australia tour: day 4

28 February 2005

Prince Frederik and Princess Mary had a state lunch with New South Wales premier Bob Carr and 140 business, community and political leaders at the Governer Macquarie Tower in Sydney.

Even though she was sipping champagne, Mary was in the first stage of her pregnancy with Christian. The news hadn't been made public yet.

After lunch Mary took the silver Audi TT coupe, on loan to her husband, for a spot of shopping in the city with her friend Amber Petty.

At night Frederik & Mary dropped by Woolloomooloo Wharf for some modern Asian food at China Doll.

In the evening an episode of Andrew Denton's "Enough Rope" was aired on ABC in which Denton interviewed the crown princely couple.

You can hear an excerpt here:  http://www.amazon.com/Enough-Rope-Andrew-Denton-Frederik/dp/B00AV60ATO

The entire interview:

It's a simple, old-fashioned story. The kind of thing that's happened to all of us at some point. Boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl. Girl gives up a promising career in real estate to join a centuries-old European royal family. Last year's marriage of Mary Donaldson to Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark captured the hearts of two mighty nations. In an exclusive interview on the eve of their Australian visit, we caught up with the happy couple at home in Copenhagen where the temperature outside was a balmy - 2 degrees.

ANDREW DENTON: Your Royal Highnesses, thank you very much for having me here in... Well, this isn't your home, is it?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No, it's not. It's Frederik's old home, though.


ANDREW DENTON: Your old home? It's got very high ceilings.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It's got high ceilings. But this is actually a... The ceiling is actually a dummy or a fake thing. As you can see, it's been painted, so there is a bit of a trick in it.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: So it's a lot lower than you think it is.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It's much lower than you think.

(All laugh)


ANDREW DENTON: So where do you live now?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: We live 30 minutes north of the city in an area called Fredensborg. And eventually we will also live in Frederik VIII's palace which lies on the right-hand side of the one we're now standing in, Christian VIII's.


ANDREW DENTON: And what is it like to live in a palace?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Well, our home in Fredensborg is very... It's not very palatial, you would say.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: This is definitely... Exactly.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It's more...a big home. It's a very warm or 'hyggelig' place. That's a Danish word you need to know.


ANDREW DENTON: That means 'comfort'?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Cosiness...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: To get together...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: There's not an exact, direct translation or word for it, but we sort of try to explain it with 'cosiness'.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Candlelight, good conversation, good wine, good food.


ANDREW DENTON: 'Hugli'?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Hot chocolate.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Hyggelig, yeah. (Speaks Danish) (Laughs) "It was nice to meet you."


ANDREW DENTON: I thought you were inviting me to hot chocolate or a snuggle. I wasn't quite sure what to do about that.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: And a Tim Tam.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes. Let's keep walking. This is a... These palaces are how old?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: These are 250 years old.


ANDREW DENTON: 250 years old. And on a day-to-day basis, what do you do? What is your routine? What does the work of royalty involve?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It's very varied.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Very varied.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Very varied. A normal day would be - up quite early. I might have some Danish lessons sometimes. Or it might be an official event that I'll be going to so it's last-minute preparations for those sorts of things. Right now, a lot of the time is spent with meetings, for example, for our Australian tour. You wouldn't believe the amount of detail that goes into preparing for such a trip. I don't think we can believe it either.


ANDREW DENTON: What sort of things?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Obviously there's a lot of protocol questions and security questions and who would we like to invite as well.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: What do we wear? I mean, really.


ANDREW DENTON: And do you get as intimately involved with the detail as that? In terms of who's invited to what function...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: We're...I mean...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: That's where we can shape our own day and our own life. In this case, we like to be very involved in what we do.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: The more involved, the more you can influence things.


ANDREW DENTON: You said you have Danish lessons. Do you ever have waving practice?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No, that came naturally. No...


ANDREW DENTON: Is there a special sort of wave you're meant to do when you're royal?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Well, as somebody said, you can actually... It's like putting a bulb into a lamp. You just hold your bulb and then you... (Makes hand motion) ..you screw it in like that.


ANDREW DENTON: This is all I need to know. I, too, can be royal. Come with me and we shall continue the interview.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Alright.


ANDREW DENTON: Your Royal Highnesses, thank you both very much for being on the show tonight. And if I may start with you, Crown Princess. Here we are in the middle of Copenhagen, in a blizzard, in a royal castle, with your husband, the Crown Prince of Denmark. Quite a journey. What was your life like before you two met?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It was a wonderful life. A happy life. And now it's happier with...being with the person I love. But Australia's a fantastic place to live, I had fantastic friends, it was a fun life.


ANDREW DENTON: Did you ever imagine that you could have a life with such high ceilings?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: (Laughs) No, I never actually thought that. That exact thought. But...it's nice to be in a place with high ceilings.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes. What did... When you first met, what did you see in each other?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: What did we see in each other? We saw... Well, it's a bit hard. It's a bit blurry, in a way, because it was just after the Olympics had started and it was one of those evenings where... I mean, the whole city was just... Seen from my perspective, but I think it also goes for the inhabitants of Sydney, the whole thing was bubbling of expectations, of excitement. And suddenly you're just put in together with a group of locals that you don't know but who are in for a good time as well. And so... We had a sort of handshake around. "Hello, my name is..." And we sat differently at a table and it wasn't until later in that evening that we actually started talking.


ANDREW DENTON: Was there...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: We're still talking!


ANDREW DENTON: Was there a moment where something clicked, where it went boom?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: That's a good question.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Well, there was enough of a click that I gave Frederik my telephone number and he rang me the next day. So you could say...something clicked. It wasn't the fireworks in the sky or anything like that but there was a sense of excitement.


ANDREW DENTON: Which is a very intoxicating thing. Your Highness, when you walked away from that first meeting with the Crown Princess, did... Was there a sense in your mind that, "Mmm, I've met someone there"?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: There was definitely that sense that I've met somebody special that was definitely worth another call. At least one call.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I got to the second round.


ANDREW DENTON: Well done. When did he confess that he was...not as other men, that he was...a Crown Prince?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I mean, you've never confessed that..."Excuse me, but I'm the Crown Prince, "and I'm not...who you thought I was." Because about half an hour after we first met, my then flatmate said that, "These are actually European royalty that we're with." So I knew that he was a prince after about half an hour. He never really told me that much about his...his other life in the beginning. It was more just about who we were and what we were about. It wasn't about where he... He lived in a place with high ceilings or anything.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: That's not the punchline that I usually kick off with.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: "Do you wanna see my high ceilings?"


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: "Wanna see some pictures?"


ANDREW DENTON: "Here's a picture of my mum with a crown on." But that's an interesting point, though, Your Royal Highness. Meeting the in-laws is always a scary moment when you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. But here you were, meeting the Queen of Denmark, a formidable woman, a woman of great intellect, an artist. It must have been rather nerve-racking.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yes, it was. And it actually was a bit of a surprise to me because it was, "Oh, the next day, Mum's coming over for tea."What? You know, I need to prepare for this. This is not just a... What should I do? What should I do? So, actually, it was quite entertaining because Frederik should show me how I should greet her with a curtsy and so forth. So it was quite fun to see him...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: I had to do the curtsy. "This is how you go down."


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: But after the first initial greetings and... You know, we sat down and we spoke and it was fairly relaxed.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: I think Mary was more afraid of the...tense on the etiquette part than actually meeting the person herself.


ANDREW DENTON: Were you nervous as well?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: I was...not that nervous, actually, because I wasn't afraid that Mary was gonna do any sort of...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Surprises.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: ..faux pas, or whatever you call it.


ANDREW DENTON: So it would be considered very, very poor form upon meeting the Queen of Denmark to sit there at dinner and just go... (Gapes)


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I'd say so. Definitely. She might get a little bit annoyed at that.


ANDREW DENTON: Equally, from your point of view, Your Royal Highness, as a prince, when it comes to proposing, there's a certain tradition expected of you - to ride in on a white steed with the sun glinting off your armour. Did you feel you had to do something special?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: We decided we wanted to go to Rome, just to see Rome. And I had never been to Rome before. I thought, "This is the moment. "Seize the day and... get your kneepads on." And then suddenly, on one of those wonderful areas in Rome, I had to say, "This is it, Mary."


ANDREW DENTON: The Eternal City. Did you go actually go down on bended knee?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I wasn't allowed to say no.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah, she couldn't say no. (Laughs)


ANDREW DENTON: No, that would have been very awkward. You did write to the Crown Princess's father.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah, I wrote to my father-in-law, John.


ANDREW DENTON: What did you say?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Sort of kindly asked for Mary's hand, if it was alright with him that...


ANDREW DENTON: That's a lovely, old-fashioned...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: ..that I married her. Yes, and he wrote very kindly back to me. He said he'd be delighted to see me as a future son-in-law.


ANDREW DENTON: It's an important letter to write. Were there many drafts?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: There were a couple of drafts, but I had, sort of, most of the... And I wasn't going to, you know, write 10 big pages about, you know, "Roses are red, violets are blue," and all that stuff. It was more sort of...


ANDREW DENTON: And did your father discuss this letter with you?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Not his...not the letter he wrote back to Frederik. But he did say... Because we rang a few days after we knew that he would have received the letter just to say, "Have you got it?" Da-da-da-da-da. And so he was very pleased and very happy to receive the letter in that traditional sense of being asked in that formal way as well. He was very touched by that as well.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes. Yes.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: But also very pleased for me to be so happy and to be getting married to the person that I love.


ANDREW DENTON: Your wedding was an extraordinary ceremony by any standards. When those doors opened as you walked out as husband and wife, did you have a sense that...a defining moment, "My life has changed forever"?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Um, no. No, because I think when I said yes to the proposal, that's when I knew that I'd taken the decision that would change my life forever. And that was an easy decision to take when I was with you. Or him.


ANDREW DENTON: And, Crown Prince, at that moment in the ceremony when you were waiting for the Crown Princess to come up the aisle and you shed a tear, what were you thinking?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Well, it was... What was I thinking? ...I could feel that now Mary was... You could hear the crowd outside sort of starting to...to rumble and cheer and then you know you're getting closer to the countdown, to the, sort of, final countdown, and I think that was probably a lot of...you know, things that I... Unprocessed feelings that I had kept within me - for, you know, I would say maybe years - suddenly could not be held back and should not be held back. So I said, "Oh, to hell with all the being a...keeping the facade. This is THE moment and this is..." I was also very... Not concerned, but I was very... I wanted to have the moment when Mary came up and we were at the ceremony was just going to be Mary and I. So there might as well have been no people in the church. To me it was just the two of us living that intense moment. It was quite the most fantastic part in that day, I think, the church.


ANDREW DENTON: I think a lot of people picked up on that and I must warn you that when you come to Australia, I personally know about 800,000 Australian women who would also like to marry you because of that moment where you showed your emotions.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Oh, right. So then you become attractive!


ANDREW DENTON: Yes, you're actually not safe in the country, I'm sorry to tell you.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Mary has to keep me in cuffs.


ANDREW DENTON: That's right. (Laughs) You actually said in the speech afterwards, which was a really beautiful, eloquent speech, you referred to that previously sometimes your life had been lonely. If I may ask you the same question I asked the Crown Princess, before you met, what was your life like?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It was a good life. It was an active life but that's because it was my own will to sort of shape it that way, being physically active and challenging yourself in all...in that sense.


ANDREW DENTON: But also some loneliness?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Well, the loneliness, I think, was a mental state sometimes, and as you can see...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Not having that moment to... Not being able to share some of the deeper things with someone.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Or to share... Sometimes you have to keep things very close to your own chest in your life, or this life. So when you have someone you can really be completely open with... There's not as many people as one would think you can be completely open with.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It's one of many great things about being married, is that we are two persons now and we can share things with each other. We can also get...unload on each other sort of thing, which was not the same case before with me, for example.


ANDREW DENTON: Tell me about your honeymoon. How was it? Where did you go?

(Both laugh)


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Our honeymoon was...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: The old line.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: The old line. The moon, the honeymoon, the beauty, the remoteness and the happiness that two people want to share and... Well, it was my job to organise and surprise Mary as well. So she didn't know where we were going and I wanted to go some place where we could get...be ourselves, literally, just the two of us and we had to go to the African continent, in my opinion, to get that, or you have to go to Antarctica or Greenland. But we chose the hot spot and so we went down and had a wonderful photo safari, just south of the equator really, or I would say between the Tropic of the Cancer and the Capricorn.


ANDREW DENTON: So you've narrowed it down for us, yes.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It was a fantastic surprise and the fact that we left the same evening and the next morning woke up in Africa was incredible.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: The change was great.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: We just had a few days where we just recuperated, did nothing, just relaxed, enjoyed the weather, read books and so forth and then we took off on different safaris, on horseback, on foot, on camping safaris, and did many different things.


ANDREW DENTON: It must also be as much a holiday, a break too... You'd just come from an entire nation observing your every moment.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Mmm. It was.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It was.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I mean, we were completely Mary and Frederik. There was nothing else attached to us where we were. It was... We just did as we pleased, went around as we pleased. I mean, just to sit and watch the animals, you know, as the dawn's setting, it was just such a magical experience. The colours of Africa are just incredible.


ANDREW DENTON: Did you ever... Like the rest of the world, you saw what happened with Princess Diana and how royalty is played out in England in particular. Did you ever hesitate about the position that was being asked of you? Did you ever wonder if you were up to what would be required?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Of course I thought seriously about what I was saying yes to because it wasn't only yes to Frederik, it was yes to something a lot bigger. And of course it was something I took and considered very seriously and weighed up and if I could do it. But perhaps - and I've said this many times - the sort of person I am is I take things as they come and deal with things as they come so I never get too far ahead of myself. And whether that's been a good or a bad thing, I'm yet to find out, but, you know, I've said...I've said yes to Frederik and also yes to this position with a very serious consideration.


ANDREW DENTON: Your Royal Highness, you've publicly, at times, struggled with your role. You said on one occasion that the thought of being King was scary and depressing and would limit your opportunities. Did you hesitate at all to bring the woman you love into this role?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: No, I didn't hesitate to bring her in. Obviously, you never know how she would react to it, so to say. But of course you have... Because we knew each other some years before we started really thinking about marrying, you get to see how we cope together and how we live together and so on, and of course...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: He could see I was up to it. (Laughs)


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah, I felt more comfortable.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah, in that way, the opportunity of living in Denmark for a year was also a very good experience, for me and for us together, because I got the opportunity to experience Denmark and the people of Denmark and the working culture of Denmark and also to be exposed to the royal family in Denmark without being a part of the royal family. So, of course, that gave me a better understanding, a better feeling, and I suppose for Frederik a better, maybe, comfort, if I can put words in your mouth...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: You have. (Laughs)


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It was something that I would be able to work with and deal with.


ANDREW DENTON: Has Mary impressed even you with her ability to cope with the role?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Well, definitely. It's quite impressive, what she's currently doing and has done already. I can only praise that. I think it's... You can't study for that.


ANDREW DENTON: Has there been a moment where you've actually stopped and thought, "My goodness me, look at how well she's handling this"?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: I do it very often, I would say. Well, I'm used to it so I take a lot of things as sort of...as granted but then suddenly you have to think about the fact that your wife does not have that sort of same experience and some things have to be explained more meticulously.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah. You crave details.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: What sort of things?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Just...you know, how many people are there going to be and...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Exiting the carpet, you know? (Laughs) Very simple things.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Will you wait for me here and will we walk together or should I walk this way or... You want to have as much information as possible on everything.


ANDREW DENTON: Is that sometimes fun, or is it a source of tension, or is it both? Not between you, but just anxiety about what...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah, it can be. It can be sometimes.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: So of course you prepare yourself.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: And one of your lines of comfort was always, if it was something like for Prince Henrik's birthday, you know, it wasn't about us, it was about him, so that was a bit of comfort, that we could just hide in the background a bit. So he was quite keen to say, "It's not about us, it's about my parents."


ANDREW DENTON: That is true, although the day will come where it is, of course, about both of you. How do you feel about one day being the Queen of Denmark?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Again, that's, as I just said, I'm not that sort of person to get too far ahead of myself. And right now I have to become better and better in the role I'm in and develop in the role. I'm in and that's where my focus is, so I'm not spending time on something that's quite a long way off because my mother-in-law is very healthy and happy in her role.


ANDREW DENTON: I wish no ill will, I do apologise. It's taking on an enormous role for which there is absolutely no training. There's no 'Royalty for Dummies' book that you can refer to.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Oh, actually, there is.


ANDREW DENTON: Is there?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No.


ANDREW DENTON: (Laughs) I haven't seen it. What did the Crown Prince tell you about actually becoming Crown Princess - you know, about what you would need to be, what you would need to do?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Actually, there hasn't been a lot of, "This is what you should be, this is what you should do, this is how you should act, this is how you should look." It has been more... I've been given quite a lot of freedom to try and find my own way because it's very important to continue to be yourself, otherwise you can't be Crown Princess Mary and Mary. Of course there is...sometimes there's a difference but very much when I go out to an official engagement it's also very much me there. I act the way I would...the way I meet people and things like that - that's Mary, it's not an act of a Crown Princess. Of course, there's been the etiquette questions that I've asked and learnt about, but I've very much been given the space to find my own way, which I think is the right way to do it because if you're...you have to fit into this hole, it becomes a lot more stressful than perhaps it already is.


ANDREW DENTON: What's been the most challenging thing for you to learn?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: The language. (Laughs) The language has been quite a challenge because, first of all, it's a difficult language to learn, but it also...when you're in that learning process and you get to that stage where everything happens in Danish... Like, my life now is every meeting is in Danish, everything happens in Danish and so you're always a little bit, you know, you're 20 per cent behind everyone else, in that sense. Sometimes you can't quite get across exactly what you want or be as quick as you could be in your own language and sometimes that can be frustrating. So I'd say the most challenging has been the language and also to interact with people, because already you're, you know, everyone's expecting you...the expectations are high as well...


ANDREW DENTON: Isn't the thing about your role...you can't have a bad moment, can you? You're not allowed to have a quiet yawn, or a... Everything's got to be right in public. That must be exhausting.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I think there is a certain level of sympathy that you're given. But... And also it depends on how often you do it. I mean, if you're constantly looking like you're falling asleep or you're bored or you're tired, then of course you deserve to be put through the wringer. But, you know, if it's once in a while... I mean, there's always the opening of the parliament every year and the photographers wait on the edge of their seats to get a picture of...when everyone's blinking, so it looks like were all sleeping.


ANDREW DENTON: Oh, really?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: And they write "Zzzzzzz."


ANDREW DENTON: You can't win.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: So, you know, there's those things. No, because otherwise you have to sit there the whole time and not blink, not blink, not blink.


ANDREW DENTON: Because I sometimes wonder if you come home in the evening and do all those things you're not allowed to do in public - you slump and you yawn and you eat with your fingers...

(Both laugh)


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah, that's one of the good things of having a home where you can be yourself.


ANDREW DENTON: Yeah.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: You have your private space. Like everyone else does.


ANDREW DENTON: Very important. How do you let your hair down?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: All sorts of things.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: We do a lot of sports together. And apart as well.


ANDREW DENTON: Are you competitive with each other?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: ...Some sort...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah, there's always an underlying competitiveness.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: (Laughs)


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: We both like to be good at what we do. But that also creates a bit of fun.


ANDREW DENTON: What sort of sports do you play?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: We ride a lot together. I've ridden for many years and Frederik has ridden as a child...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: But not on the same horse. I sit behind Mary like this.

CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No, we don't.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: She keeps the reins on.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Um...


ANDREW DENTON: Is he a good rider?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah. He's getting very good.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Getting there.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: He can't get too good, though.


ANDREW DENTON: No, no.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It's, er...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Just behind Mary always.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: Because you...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Because he's better at skiing, so...


ANDREW DENTON: He's a very good skier, is he?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: He's much better at skiing than me, but he's been doing it for a long time.


ANDREW DENTON: Does he do double black runs and things like that?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah, from helicopters and all sorts.


ANDREW DENTON: Oh, really? Because he does, if you don't mind my saying, his nickname is 'turbo prince'.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: I think that's only left in Norway, that expression.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Don't worry, it'll be re-established.


ANDREW DENTON: You have a remarkable outdoors life. I mean, you were a navy frogman, which is a navy SEAL, the sort of highest level in the Danish navy. You've been a marathon runner. You've gone to Greenland on expeditions for months at a time. And you're not just a royal, you're an extreme royal.

(Both laugh)


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: That's a good one.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: He's also done a lot of parachuting.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: That's sort of my destiny and that part has been fortunate for me.


ANDREW DENTON: Your Highness, it's been said that you are a calming influence on Frederik. Is that how you see yourself?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I don't think I prevent him from doing anything that he wants to do... I set rational questions. For example, if he wants to do the Sydney to Hobart, then he should train the right open-sea racing. You know, things like that. So I wouldn't...I'd never dream of stopping him from something he really wants to do, as long as it's done in the best way possible... I hope I don't come to renege on that later.


ANDREW DENTON: I guess the other great advantage of your position is that you will get to meet extraordinary people. Who have you met so far that's really been exciting for you?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I think one of the most exciting things was being invited to see the Australian athletes when we were at the Olympic Village. That was something really special in that they...those who we met took the time out to meet us when they're there on something so big for them. That was incredibly special to meet some of those athletes.


ANDREW DENTON: Who did you cheer for at the Olympics? Was there any conflict here?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Well, luckily there wasn't a lot of head-on...head-to-head competition between the Danes and the Australians, so it was, in that sense, of course, it was very exciting to cheer for the Danes, particularly with the Danish women's handball team and so forth. But, of course, at the swimming and stuff, you've followed some of those athletes for many, many years and luckily the Danes aren't AS good in the swimming as the Australians, so...


ANDREW DENTON: Careful. Careful.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: So there wasn't that really big dilemma. I had enough room to cheer for both Denmark and Australia.


ANDREW DENTON: Very good. Well done. I would have thought that, er... I've seen the ceremonial photos of you. One of the difficulties of a royal marriage is that you have to wear an enormous number of sashes and medals. Does this drive you mad sometimes?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: (Chuckles) Well, it's a good question, but I... How to say, I tend to look at it as it's not that often that we wear it, so to say, so it's only these big days like the New Year's Day, where we dress it up, we dress up and we have medals and the sashes, which is also a Danish...thing.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Very high... Very old traditional Order of the Elephant.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: The white elephant, which originally was...dates all the way back from, I think, the year of the crusaders, actually. And a Danish king some 400 years ago took that...adopted that white elephant mostly because of fidelity. So that's one of the...I take great pride in wearing it because I like the animal itself. I think it's a fine thing and it's also a special thing that not very many people wear, or heads of state wear.


ANDREW DENTON: Does the Crown Prince ever leave his sash lying around the house, or the medals?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No, but it has been known to be found on a dance floor once, hasn't it?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Yeah. Sometimes, yeah. We do a lot of this dancing and suddenly this elephant just clicks off.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: The Lancier, which is a very active Danish dance.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: So what would you call that?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: The Lancier? It's a little bit like a...


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Square dance, or...?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It's a lot more refined than a square dance. But it is, you know, partners and swinging and throwing and all that sort of thing, so...


ANDREW DENTON: And the Order of the Elephant's come off?


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It does, because it's a...I mean, it's a piece of porcelain and it's a fragile piece, but, you know, sometimes...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: But it didn't break.


ANDREW DENTON: I read a comment that a Danish journalist said, upon your marriage, "We own her now." And of course, one of...part of the business of being royalty is that you're a media commodity. You mentioned before about them trying to get a photograph of you with your eyes closed at the opening of parliament. You saw the intense scrutiny of the British royal family. What sort of advice has Frederik given you about how to deal with that side of it?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: ...It's hard to give advice to that sort of thing because you just have to learn to deal with it. And it does get a little bit easier because in the start you feel very inhibited by people coming too close or sort of encroaching on your personal space. But over time you begin to accept that that's just a part of it and, you know, you have to work to keep a respective distance between the press and so forth. But in terms of actual advice, I think it's...some of the best pieces of advice have been that, you know, if I get really worried about something that's been said or a bad photograph or something, you know, it's forgotten tomorrow. There'll come something else new that washes that one away. And you do get a little bit more relaxed in that sense about things. You know, I've seen photos of me in the start where I look like a...you know, a deer caught in the headlights sometimes, you know. But now I...you try and sort of say, OK, they're there but it shouldn't interfere with the way I interact with people or what I'm doing. They shouldn't be allowed to prevent me being the way I am. Or, you know, if they catch a stupid shot of me with a huge smile laughing, then, you know, I'm having fun.


ANDREW DENTON: I read that the royal photographer had been instructed to - quote - "watch for telltale signs of pregnancy." Do you feel that sense of expectation, if not obligation, that you must have a child?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Well, it's definitely not a sense of obligation because it's something that we very much want to do. We do want to start a family and there's no secret with that. In terms of the pressure, etc, I think that hasn't been so bad in the last period of time. Just after the wedding, you know, there came out some things and circles around the belly and things like that, but you can just laugh at it because when it happens it will happen.


ANDREW DENTON: That's a good way to deal with it - laugh at the excesses, I think.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah. And there's so many of them that...yeah. That was one of the first things I...I could not believe how...what the press could write. How...what...you know, before I'd pick up a magazine and I'd read it and I'd think, "OK." But I wouldn't question it. And then after being a subject of the press and reading what's been written, you really think, "What else have they..." I mean, "What do they write about everyone else? There's no ounce of truth in this. Where's the credibility in these?"


ANDREW DENTON: Here you are on the other side of the looking glass suddenly.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: As you said, you laugh at it sometimes. What's your favourite so far that's been written about you?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: I think my favourite was I had my gall bladder removed and just before that I had...we were in hospital to be checked, have a check-up, and the next day it came out in the press that I was pregnant and they'd seen me and it was definite for sure that I was pregnant, I must be eight weeks pregnant and therefore giving birth in such and such a time. And then we were laughing about, you know, the headlines should read, "Mary Gives Birth to a Stone." One of the press here actually came out with the headline.


ANDREW DENTON: I hope you've got it framed on the wall somewhere. How do you feel about coming back to Australia?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: It's very exciting. We're very much looking forward to it. And that feeling also comes with a slight nervousness because so much has changed. And, you know, you hear from friends and family the response in response to our wedding and us as a couple in Australia, and, I must say, that's taken us quite by surprise. I would never have thought that there would be so much interest in us as a couple.


ANDREW DENTON: It is going to be big. I know the sales of sashes in Australia have gone through the roof.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: And tiaras.


ANDREW DENTON: Because you will never be able to walk the streets of your home again as you did.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No. That's...that will be an interesting thing to experience. But I think I still have in the back of my head that perhaps I will be anonymous down there. How can it not be that I can't be anonymous in Australia? So there's a part of me that still maybe hopes or thinks that there isn't such a big interest that we can't, you know, find ourselves somewhere that no-one will... Well, they never knew who we were when we visited El Questro. But that was a while ago as well.


ANDREW DENTON: I don't think you've got much hope now, I'm sorry to disappoint you. You could try a moustache. But I can't guarantee it. How is it going to be with all your old friends? Because, of course, they're still your old friends.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: But there's now something else in your life, which is that you're royalty. Are they still going to be able to relate to you in the same way? And you them?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Absolutely. I don't think...you know, I still communicate with my friends in exactly the same way as I did before. If they come and visit us, it's still the same. It's still how you are with your old friends. Of course, we don't have as much free time this time to just hang out with friends and things like that.


ANDREW DENTON: When they phone you up, do they curtsy now before they speak to you?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah. I can't see the image, but...


ANDREW DENTON: That's right, yes.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: Is there any etiquette as...


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: With friends?


ANDREW DENTON: With friends. Do they have to observe an etiquette or it's just as it...?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: No.


ANDREW DENTON: Yeah. That's good.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Same with my friends in Denmark, as well.


ANDREW DENTON: You're the Crown Princess of Denmark now. What about Australia still makes you homesick?


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Well, it's the fact that so many people I love live so far away, which is the obvious one. The not-so-obvious are that I miss Fruit Tingles...my childhood love. You know, I miss, you know, the beauty of the coastline. Some of the small things. You know, those funny Australian characters you meet.


ANDREW DENTON: Well, I can see that after almost 10 months of marriage you two are extremely happy as a married couple.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: You'd want to hope so after only 10 months.


ANDREW DENTON: Yes, but there are always different levels, aren't there? Obviously this joining has been great for both of you.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Very much.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: It has indeed, yeah.


ANDREW DENTON: Well, I hope the tour to Australia is everything you want it to be, I hope you have a moment of anonymity. If you're stuck for somewhere to stay in Sydney you can stay at my place, you're more than welcome.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Point taken.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Thank you very much.


ANDREW DENTON: Your Royal Highnesses, I really appreciate it. It's been lovely talking to you.


CROWN PRINCESS MARY: Thank you.


CROWN PRINCE FREDERIK: Great. Thank you, Andrew.


ANDREW DENTON: I feel like I should curtsy at this point. Thank you very much.

Interview for Australian media

12 February 2005

When the anouncement was made that Frederik & Mary would make an extensive Australian tour later in the year, Australian media published an interview + photoshoot (at Amalienborg palace) with the couple. The Australia tour combined with extensive media coverage had been carefully planned beforehand - just like the Ninka interview book and the Vogue cover story.

You could say that along with Frederik's engagement a new PR chapter started at Danish court - who seem to be very aware of the importance "image" has in today's world.

  

 

 

 

The interview was meant for the Australian media - as a teaser for the tour at hand - and completely focused on Mary's background.

Mary talks about buying a house in Tasmania, also to let her future children feel a strong bond to her native country: "It would be wonderful to own a little piece of Tasmania. Perhaps something up the coast. I think it's something we dream of doing." 

"I miss the beauty of Australia and its funny personalities," she said. "If there was a nine-hour flight that would make it so much easier because, as it is, if you decide to go to Australia, you have to consider a minimum time being two weeks."

The couple said that when they started a family they would take their children frequently to Australia to experience their mother´s homeland.

"Well, the majority of my life has been as an Australian, so I think obviously those influences will be taught to our children," Mary said. "I think actually the Danes and Australians have very similar values, so I don't think we have many conflicts there in bringing up our children, or that they will have inconsistent value sets. I think naturally they will be partly Australian -- maybe I can't say that!"

The couple dodged any question about their plans to start a family.

"I think it'll happen when it's meant to happen," Mary said.

But the couple said they were looking forward to family life. Mary said children had provided some of her most touching moments as a princess, and recalled that two little girls had visited her in her office at Microsoft´s Danish subsidiary Navision, where she worked before her marriage.

"And the next day their father came into my office and he said I'm really sorry. He didn't know that his daughters had come to see me, he explained. But his youngest daughter was quite disappointed because there was no big dress, no tiara, you know. This image of me sitting beside my desk in this huge dress and tiara, that's what she'd expected to see. It's such a sweet image," Mary said.

Mary also revealed her plans to build her own profile within the royal family.
She said she wanted to make a difference on several fronts, including improving the lives of the mentally ill, raising awareness of skin cancer in Denmark and fighting heart disease. And to help the advancement of Denmark's fashion industry. She added it was important that the monarchy remains relevant and connected to people.

She confessed to feeling nervous about the reception she & Frederik would receive in Sydney.

"I'm very excited but there is also a slight trepidation because we can't really know how we're going to be received or what it will be like to be there," she told The Sunday Telegraph. "The last time we were there we went around pretty much in freedom. This is a whole new trip, a lot of it is official engagements."

The princess confessed there were often moments she felt overwhelmed by her dramatic transformation from anonymous commoner to a royal forever in the public gaze. Despite the public adulation and worldwide fame, she said she remained the same girl who met Frederik at a Sydney bar in September 2000.

"Yes, obviously my life has changed quite dramatically," she said. "I'm still very much the same person and very happy to be the way I am and with the person I'm with. And that's the greatest change - to be married. And when people ask, 'hasn't it just been too overwhelming?', I have to admit there have been times when I've thought: 'My goodness, what am I doing here wearing this tiara made for the coronation of Napoleon?' But then I get the love and support from Frederik and so we must continue."

"I think my personality is that I tend to take things as they come. I don't think too much about the fact I'll be queen one day. First I've got to be this."

"I'm the devil's advocate. I ask the tough questions of Frederik. In that way I'm quite a detailed thinker. I think of the consequences of what you say or do." Frederik concurred, adding with a laugh: "I agree with everything she says". The Crown Prince said his wife had settled into her new post "magnificently" and had been embraced wholeheartedly by the Danish people. 

Looking back on their wedding day.

Mary only watched a video of her wedding day late last year (2004 - MFTS) while recovering from a gall bladder operation."That was quite interesting because it was a little bit hard to see that that was me," she said."It was surreal," adds Frederik."I was just so happy," Mary said:she described her extraordinary horse-drawn carriage ride through Copenhagen's streets, filled with cheering Danes.
"It was amazing. There was just people everywhere, on roofs, hanging out of windows, just . . . it was such a joy. There was so much joy and warmth and good wishes for us. It was quite spectacular, that carriage ride. I think I was very much in the moment the whole day during the wedding.But to have that effect on people, it was quite amazing. By just being happy yourself and enjoying the moment, people were able to take a little bit of that for themselves."

One of the behind-the-scenes highlights for the Crown Princess was watching her friends and family mix with Frederik's family and friends: ordinary Australians hob-nobbing with the cream of European royalty."I think all my friends – our friends now – who came from Australia just had the greatest time. There was this mixing of so many different cultures at our wedding as well which was just wonderful. There was even a rugby `test' between the Aussies and the French that they just set up for themselves.

Mary said she and Frederik meticulously planned the wedding to ensure they could enjoy moments of privacy in a ceremony witnessed by tens of millions."It was something that we talked about," Mary said. "We were worried that we would not be able to show our love for each other because of everything going on around us and all that focus – with cameras catching us at vulnerable moments.
"But then we just said let's just do what feels right to do."


About attending the Athens Olympics.

The Danish crownprincess admitted she instinctively leapt to her feet to cheer Aussie athletes: "It's hard when you've followed an athlete for many years to suddenly say: 'Oh, sorry, but I have to change my direction to someone wearing red and white'." 

Frederik has introduced Mary to his great passion of hunting, taking her on pre-dawn, below-freezing expeditions.

"I was sitting there in the freezing cold, not allowed to say anything, I'm not allowed even to move to keep a little bit warm," laughed Mary. "And then by the end of it I'm getting irritated because I move too much."
"I was telling her she was scaring the animals," said Frederik.
But Mary respects the highly traditional Danish hunting scene.
"I mean it's done very traditionally and it's very important that those who go out hunting are damn good shots," she said. "There's not a person that will go out without having the appropriate licence and experience.
"After being out in the freezing morning you go to a very traditional lunch where it's schnapps and herring, which actually I don't really get into."
The couple often hunt for pheasants – "The most prestigious", said Frederik – but more recently have hunted deer. But Mary has reservations.
"Yes, red deer," Frederik said.
"Bambi!" cried his wife.

Australianisms still litter the royal couple's lifestyle.

There is no Vegemite in the cupboard, but lots of Tim Tams. "No, I never was a big fan of Vegemite," Mary said. "But we've got a lot of Tim Tams in the house."
Frederik said he was yet to master the art of sipping tea through a Tim Tam.
"I love them. But when I try to suck them through the hot drink it goes everywhere," he said.
Mary said they received a stone kangaroo for a wedding present.
"He's about a metre high and he sits out in our garden and pretty much every person who comes looks twice," she said. "They think we now own a live kangaroo, so that's quite funny.
"We have a boxing kangaroo as well that was given to us by the Australian athletes when we were at the Olympic Games in Athens."
Mary said one of her mates in Sydney has promised to send her copies of Kath & Kim to keep her in touch with Aussie humour.
"I've also asked for The Comedy Company and those older comedy series. I can't wait to show Frederik some of those things," she said.

Nine months after her big day, she's still floating.

"We enjoy what we're doing, we have fun. When we are at official engagements like the opening of the new Opera House (in Copenhagen), I mean that was a wonderful thing to be a part of and we enjoyed it as a couple together. So when you are out on official duty you are not just there to sit and act officially, you actually enjoy it: You're out on a date."

Australian Women's Weekly

February 2005,

After Australian Vogue 3 months earlier another Australian magazine, Women's Weekly, featured an exclusive photo shoot with Mary.

"The Weekly" is actually a monthly magazine, the biggest in Australia: selling 500,000 copies each month.

 

The series was taken at Amalienborg palace.

In the last photo Mary wears a new top by Malene Birger.

 

In the second photo she wears a new gala dress by Birgit Hallstein.

On the cover of Australian Vogue

December 2004

The Australian December issue of fashion bible Vogue featured Mary on the cover and in a 14 page exclusive.

(dress by Hugo Boss)

It was an unexpected move, and unprecedented at Danish court. The well calculated project had full cooperation of court and of Mary's stylist Anja Camilla Alajdi. Preparation started 11 months beforehand, in November 2003.

In September 2004 the Vogue team flew to Denmark with a large array of designer clothes that Mary & Anja chose from. Editor-in-chief Kirstie Clements interviewed the new princess. The shoot took 3 days and was executed by New York-based photographer Regan Cameron at Amalienborg palace and Fredensborg palace. Mary's hair and make-up were arranged by her own hair and make-up artist, Søren Hedegaard.

(top, skirt and jacket by Chanel, leather boots by Hermès)

(dress and cape by Louis Vuitton)

 

(blue dress by Prada)

  

 

(black gown by and fur cape by Malene Birger, shoes by Miu Miu)
(white gown by Jean Paul Gauthier)

Most of these clothes were later seen again on Mary. It's not clear whether she bought them or received them from Vogue as part of the deal.


According to Clements: "We asked if the prince would come and he really changed the whole mood of the shoot. There was just such magic when they got together and she became really relaxed. We got this beautiful photo of the two of them together and after that everything was brilliant. They are . . . in love!"

Mary told the magazine: "Growing up, you always feel that you have to do something in order to deserve people's admiration and support. I don't really feel I've done so much. All I've done is say yes and love the person that I love", and "I've never really thought that much about fashion, I'm still developing my style."

She also said: "I have to believe that I wouldn't be here if I couldn't do this. But I'm a thinker, I won't say 'Yes' to one thing unless I know how it fits into the overall puzzle. There is a lot to weigh up, but my biggest hope is to be able to make a difference somewhere. It's a privilege to have this opportunity."

Asked about the biggest pressure in her new role, Mary said it was becoming a public person: "I've never been a person who craved the spotlight."

First visit to Greenland: the end

4 July 2004

Frederik & Mary concluded Mary's first visit to Greenland with a visit to Illoqqoortoormiut.

This video shows a round up of the entire visit and an interview with the royals:

When Mary first crossed the arctic circle she was 'baptized' on board the Dannebrog.

During one of their visits:

Kronprinsesse Mary fortaeller til Anne Wolden-Ræthinge

18 May 2004

The first book about Mary was published right after the wedding.

Danish journalist Anne Wolden-Ræthinge (Ninka) made a summary of the series of interviews (25 hours in total) she had conducted with Mary Donaldson from December 2003 to April 2004. The book was clearly more than a cooperation with Danish Court. There are no critical remarks and Ninka only uses superlatives to describe Mary, 'the new queen Ingrid'.

The first interview took place in Mary's apartment at Langelinie.

On meeting Frederik:

" I knew that work should't be filling my whole life. There should be a balance. It was in that period I met Frederik. It was september 16, 2000.

I lived together with four others in a big house at the time of the Olympics in Sydney, and one of my flatmates had been invited to take a few friends along to a bar to meet some Spaniards who participated in the games. As it happens, that evening I was going to a kind of goodbye party at a friend's place a couple of houses down the street, but when the taxi arrived I thought: "No, I'm changing my mind". A sudden decision taken in a split second. I think perhaps it was because I was the one who had lived in the house the longest, and because it was the first time we were all going out together.We drove to a bar called "Slip-Inn". There was a party of some Australians and two nephews of the Spanish king, plus crown prince Frederik, prince Joachim, prince Nikolaos of Greece and princess Märtha Louise of Norway. I didn't know who they were. After half an hour one of my flatmates told me, "Do you know these people are prince this and princess that?" Frederik and I began to converse, and we simply didn't stop talking. And that was it! A very long conversation, which continued over 14 months.

The next day he and his brother travelled to Melbourne. A week later I met him and his friends over dinner. After that he travelled Australia for six weeks. When he came back we met again, but he was called back home, because his grandmother was seriously ill. He was very affected by it and wanted to leave as quickly as possible. We got a day and a half together, where we had hoped for a week to get to know each other a little better. For the first three and a half months after we had met, the period after the death of queen Ingrid, we didn't see each other. Frederik was very glad that he had been able to say goodbye to her. And that she had been aware of him being there. He told me about how he felt and I was able to give him some advise because I had experienced it myself. We talked about how he could learn something from the sorrow. About what to read to get help. I sent him a book I had read myself when my mother died: "A Grief Observed".

It wasn't like 'BANG' the first night. That I knew I met the man of my life. It is difficult to pinpoint that precise moment. There was a great distance between us and big gaps of time between our meetings, too. But we kept contact. And each time we met, it went one step further.
That I knew who he was made the whole thing more uncertain. Could it develop to something at all? On the other hand I wasn't pessimistic. Each step forward took us to a point where we realized, that we couldn't continue to be far away from each other. We had to take the jump and see where we would land."

"Our contact continued and became deeper and deeper. We wrote letters and emails and phoned each other. Almost every day. We sent pictures and small things to each other. For instance I sent him a cd of Powderfinger, my favorite rockband, and he sent me some Danish cds, Sort Sol for instance. We took part in each others life that way and shared what was possible. We didn't talk much about his work, almost not at all. It has been a slow introduction to his world. He wanted to protect me. Perhaps he was afraid that it would scare me. And I never asked. Sometimes our e-mails were very long, some pages, sometimes only four lines."

On the reunion with Frederik:

"When I went to the airport I was terribly nervous. I didn't want to be in the airport building itself, I stayed outside. Frederik later told me that I stood in a dark corner - I really tried to be as small as possible. He thought it was quite funny. It took a couple of days for us to relax completely, because we had't spent that much time together before.

He stayed for little over two weeks. I wanted it to go well. After all it was possible that after a day or two we'd have said: "No, this isn't working". But fortunately it went well. We travelled a bit by car - my car - and stayed at one of my friends' summercabin at the beach. We swam in the sea and took walks in the bush, went sightseeing in Sydney, just the two of us. I knew it was serious, but still I was a bit sceptical. Could this continue? Even after those two weeks, as the thougthful person he is, he couldn't just say: "Well, come with me to Denmark!" That isn't in his nature. It could have been all too much for me and much too early.

The next time we met was in Europe and we travelled for two weeks again. Wonderful. We travelled to Caïx, where we met some of his friends. After that we both wanted to be together more often, but we didn't know how. The only solution was for me to move: a big step. It was important to find out if we could live together. We didn't talk about a wedding at all. But it was always a possibility."

On leaving Australia:

"In November 2001 -14 months after we met - we decided to take the chance to see if we were destined for each other. I left Australia. First I visited my father in England, then I traveled to Paris, because I would not go to Denmark immediately. It would have been too premature. We wanted more time. When we were together it was so intense, we wanted to introduce a little normality and everyday life in our relationship.

Paris was the next step, then. I would be more protected there. But it was a difficult time for me. In Paris I didn't know many people and I don't function very well in such a large city. Yet another thing I have learned: Paris wasn't my cup of tea. I was there for five months, from February until July 2002. Then we had a short holiday together and I moved to Denmark - in August 2002 - and started my work in September. At that time we both believed in our relationship. There was no uncertainty about it anymore. It was obvious that what we had together was something much bigger, than anything any of us had experienced, ever.

The period between my move to Denmark and the engagement, a little over a year, was a strange period of time. So many people were interested in our relationship. There were these big expectations. Right from the first time somebody discovered me in Australia, it was like: "They are going to get married tomorrow!"
The more my life got exposed, the more difficult it would be to return to Australia. What would I go back to? The more you are in the spotlight, the more difficult it is to withdraw from it.

I didn't want to be exposed in any way. But at a certain point I had to accept it. I had to say to myself: I have to take this step completely. If I hadn't done that, I would have blamed myself for the rest of my life. But we took the step together, both of us."

On the Press :

"I'm from a middle class family, I had a good education, I'm proud of what I have achieved in my life and I know I have so much to achieve still. I'm very, very happy about the challenge I face right now. But it's very overwhelming, especially with so much publicity. It's difficult to see your own face everywhere - I always hated to be photographed. I was the one who said: "I'll take the pictures" at family gatherings and friends' parties. I have to learn to behave in certain ways in public, too. The many norms of behaviour. For instance the way I have to move when I am walking with Frederik.

I'll be critizised. People judge you from a picture and from false information, and that's hard, because you can't defend youself. In the first place because it isn't my nature to do so, and if it was, the press can print whatever they want anyway. So in that way you feel somewhat defenseless. You can't say: "This is actually false!". For instance they printed a picture of my mom, which actually wasn't her! It was horrible.

I've been lucky enough to have a whole year here, making me experience what it feels like to live in Denmark. And the media haven't been equally bad all the time. In the beginning they didn't show much respect, but now it's better. Either you don't read their magazines or you try to establish a relationship with them. Publicity and press are factors we will always have to take into account. But to be exhibited all the time is difficult. Frederik has supported me tremendously in this respect."

On the engagement day:

"Two days before the engagement day I felt tense and nervous. The next day I was like a child before Christmas, hyperactive and full of energy. Then my dad and Susan arrived, and we had a lovely dinner together in the evening. I went to bed and the next day, when I woke up, I was completely calm, which surprised me. I thought: "Today you are going to do it!"
When we stood behind the glass doors of the balcony, I tried to relax and take deep breaths. I felt like I couldn't go out there, it was so overwhelming.

It was the first time I stood next to Frederik in a very official way. And I saw how much the people love their royal family. They cheered at the Queen, Prince Henrik and Frederik, and at me too, because he had chosen me, and we had chosen each other. It was wonderful to see our flags everywhere among the crowd. Everybody was so happy. It was overwhelming just to look out on the large crouds - thousands of people. All these people all around us... it was a very moving moment. I didn't think I could contain it all, so a part of me just kept observing it. Frederik was quite overwhelmed too, and both the Queen and Prince Henrik looked very happy. My father took it quite calmly. It was an incredible experience. And they wanted to see us again and again! A very happy day.

The moment right before going into the big press conference, I felt like I rather wouldn't... quite childish! But there was no escape: I had to do it. We stood there and there was so much light - a sea of light - and so many people there. I had decided that I would be the first to speak. It was a decision I had made myself, perhaps a fortnight before, it was my own idea. Naturally I discussed it with the chief of Court - Per Thornit - and he agreed. There had been a tremendous build-up of expectations in the press, for example that I could speak Danish fluently, but I couldn't. I knew I had to be the one who set the frame for all these expectations. This was the reason why I chose my words the way I did. I waited until it was more quiet in the hall. Until I could sense that there was enough peace and quiet and they would listen. But the first words almost wouldn't come out of my mouth. Later it went better.

The engagement day was such a busy one, we rushed from one thing to another. It was a big day because it was the first time I had to present myself to the Danish people. They had seen pictures of me, but nobody had ever heard me speak. Nobody knew what was going on inside my head, and naturally you are apprehensive about whether people are going to be nice to you. And would I be able to express what I wanted to say? Even if it was a really happy day, it was at the same time difficult to call it a completely free feeling of joy. But we experienced that feeling at other moments. We had a lovely time up to this, which was our very own."

On the proposal and love:

"About a week before Frederik proposed I felt it was going to happen. I didn't know the precise moment of course but when he started to behave somewhat out of character, I knew something was going to happen. It was in Rome. It was wonderful.

My new reality is not foreign to me anymore, but when someone says: "You are going to be the next queen of Denmark," it's so diffcult to imagine. But when I'm with Frederik or the queen I know they're nice, normal people, living in fairytale surroundings.

I have suddenly arrived in a situation which holds a great challenge, and I have to do it step by step. Everything gets bigger. My wedding for example. Before, I had never given any thought to how my wedding would be but I would never have imagined it to be like this!

I always knew that I would only marry if I met the BIG love. My parents knew each other when they were 12 years old. They became a couple when they were 14, and they were only 22 when they got married. Very young. Therefore I knew that the most important thing was unconditional love. Unreserved. And you recognize it when it hits you."

On queen Margrethe:

"Intuitively I knew that the first meeting with the queen had to go well, and I asked myself how I was to handle it. Protocol is quite new to me. It isn't something you normally experience in Australia, it doesn't exist in the same form as in Denmark, where the royal family is very extrovert, thus making everybody know how to behave towards them. In fact Frederik didn't instruct me much before the meeting. He just said: Be yourself.

It was when I was living in Paris, before I moved to Denmark. It was at Amalienborg that I met the queen for the first time. The meeting was private. Let's keep it that way. But she understood our need to keep the developement of our relationship to ourselves.
Had that meeting ended negatively I don't know what we would have done. I could never ask of Frederik to give up his place in the order of succession. He knows his role in life. He has an obligation."

On Starmakers:

"The press has written that right after I met Frederik, I started on a modelling course (Starmakers), to feel more confident. There wasn't anything calculating or scheming about that. Nothing like: making myself ready to handle the situation. Fact is, when I started on that course I hadn't met him at all!"

On her favorite poem:

How do I love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breath and heigth
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.


"This is a poem I learned from my father. I have quoted it in my letters to Frederik. So he knows it and he knows what it means to me. I particularly love the last line, "and, if God choose, I shall but love thee after death." Because it sounds so beautiful and etherical. Furtermore it reaches out from death.

There's another poem which means a lot to me and my family: an English hymn called "Eternal Father". It will be played in church at our wedding. It was my mother's favourite hymn, and one I've always loved. Once I sang in a choir and we sang this hymn in a performance of 'Joseph's Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat'. It was very beautiful and powerfull and when I suggested it to the chief of court, he told me it was one of QMII's favourite hymns too. It was played at my mother's funeral. And it means a lot to me and my family, that it will be sung at our wedding."

On her grandmother:

"My grandparents lived in Launceston in the north of Tasmania. They had a modest house in the suburbs. When we visited them we slept in the same room, my two sisters, my brother and me. At home we each had our separate rooms, apart from my sister and me, so it was great fun to sleep together.

I vividly remember the day my grandfather died. I remember the grief in my father's voice and I remember crying. I was only six but I could see that my grandmother was so alone. She believed in God and was a spiritual person. And very positive. There was grief but also acceptance.

My relationship with my grandmother was really special, maybe because I was named after her. She treated all of us children individually. We each had our own special place with her, and at the same time we were regarded with the same affection.

She was there when my mother died and she was able to comfort me then, exactly because of her way of thinking, her belief and trust, which I think are rare qualities in the world today.

My grandmother died three years ago. I really miss her very much. (Mary is visibly touched). I'm sorry - I have never really talked about her since, because I was away when she died. It is difficult when you talk about someone who has meant so much in your life, and who is no longer there - I miss her voice and her caring. She used to send me letters and she was the last person I myself wrote letters to. She really means a lot to me, because she was the one person I looked up to. My grandmother taught me that what you give is what you get. She taught me to be proud of who I am.

What I admired most about her was her cheerfulness. Even when she was sad she could always see the positive side. I have a feeling that 'something' is with me, a kind of higher power. My grandmother and the great sorrows in my life have opened me much more to this higher meaning, this positive faith ..."